Singles in the Church

I've been focussing on reaching out to the singles in our parish this week, and I've had some revelations, especially from the writing of Susan Nikaido. The most important being our church's (Christian, Anglican and local) mindset that is reflective of our culture which exalts romance, in contrast to scripture. The Bible honours marriage, but it gives an equal place to the single life. The best thing Paul says about marriage (1 Cor. 7) is, "If you do marry, you have not sinned." In fact in many places, it seems the Bible even exalts the single life over married life.

However Christian singles often hear the message "You're nobody till somebody loves you". We tell our children "when you get married", instead of "if you get married". We tell single adults "You're such a nice person, I don't understand why you're not married." These statements and attitudes (for which I am the chief sinner) do very little in encouraging Christian faith and forbearance in our singles. I think we should be taking great pains to promote how courageous and counter-cultural it is to maintain a holy, Christian, single life, rather than our cultural assumptions which make gods of romance and sex. This has definite implications for our ministry, preaching and action in a lost post-modern world.